Thursday, May 31, 2012

Ode to Mindy Kaling

Disclaimer: I wrote this post a while ago but kept forgetting to share. My apologies for holding out.  

I just finished reading Mindy Kaling’s book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? – I literally put it down seconds ago. It was a good book; Funny at many points, which got me some weird looks on the bus, interesting in a backstage look at my favorite show ever kind of way, and fluffy enough to read on my lunch break without losing track of what was going on. By the way, I don’t feel bad calling the book fluffy because now that I’ve read it, it’s like I know the real Mindy Kaling.

The book got me thinking - in a non-theoretical, non-scientific, non-profound way. First, I thought, Mindy and I could really bond (if only given the chance!) over our shared view of how a guy should act and what constitutes comedy gold  - Two parts Will Farrell, a healthy portion of Tina Fey, a little Amy Pohler on the side, and a dash of awkwardness via Ricky Gervais’ David Brent. I also quickly realized that it would be impossible to read the book without hearing Kelly Kapoor’s voice in my head (or Mindy Kaling’s voice? It’s all very confusing). This wasn’t really a problem for me but may have inadvertently lessened the credibility of the book to a level say, on-par with anything Paris Hilton has written.


Actually, I knew Mindy and I would be best friends (if only given the chance!) immediately after reading the photo caption on the back cover; I hadn’t even opened the book yet. After we bonded, in my mind, I determined that ours would be the kind of friendship where I could critique Mindy’s work without coming off as a critic - Some good old fashioned constructive feedback if you will. So I did, but the only thing I could come up with is Mindy works too hard to make it seem like she’s cool being regular sized. What a horrible thing, to support average women and reinforce a healthy body image to young girls. All this chat about chubbiness, too-small designer clothes, and running only makes me wonder just how chubby is she? Could we share clothes? At more than one point I wanted to violently shake her while yelling “I like you, very much. Just as you are.”


Once I embraced my obsession with the idea that we could be real-life friends (if only given the chance) I turned my focus to other things and immediately thought - I could totally write a book like this. I’ve had awkward moments growing up. I have horrible workplace stories that are only now funny.  Why wouldn’t strangers want to compare their own list of all time favorite SNL Digital Shorts to mine? Oh wait, I don’t work in LA, on a television set, no one knows my voice or mannerisms, they can’t read this in my tone – which makes the overuse of commas and dashes extremely confusing. Ok, I get it now.

But, just in case you were curious, here are my favorite SNL Digital Shorts, in no particular order because that would be like choosing a favorite child (don't tell but it's definitely Mother Lover Giraffes! Jack Sparrow Lazy Sunday)

It’s so simple my parents would think it's stupid, but somehow these 3 minutes make me laugh until I cry. Once I start I can’t stop and I watch it over and over again in some sort of twisted overindulgent pleasurable punishment that makes me all puffy eyed the next morning.

Dick In A Box /  Mother Lover
Dick in a Box is a classic. I remember memorizing and then performing the hand gestures in this song to impress all my friends. Although Mother Lover didn’t seem to garnish as much attention, I find the premise even funnier. I hear “Oh Dang. What is it dog? I forgot it’s Mother’s Day” and it’s over – pull up youtube, I’ve gotta see the video clip.

Jizz in My Pants
I can remember where I was the first time I saw this – like generations before me can recall hearing that Elvis had died or Lennon had been shot. I’m not comparing it to the immensity of these events, but I did rewind SNL and watch it two or three more times before returning to my regularly scheduled program.

Lazy Sunday
Can we just all agree that The Lonely Island is genius? Not only is the song about seeing the Chronicles of Narnia, process that for a minute, but The Office borrowed the idea for Lazy Scranton which was equally funny.

Like A Boss
This digital short spawned its own catch phrase – if that’s not proof that you’re doing something right I don’t know what is.

Jack Sparrow
Magical is the only way I know to describe this. Honestly, what else besides magic could propel Michael Bolton back into the realm of cool? Dating Nicollette Sheridan couldn’t do it, and that was when Desperate Housewives was at it’s prime.  

My only hope is that Mindy, incredibly tired and bored after a long day on the set of her new show, takes to the internet and, indulging a bit, Googles Mindy Kaling + funny and finds this little piece of writing, and then immediately seeks me out using her NSA or CIA connections, and then we become best friends... and I bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we all eat it and be happy...


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