Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Don't Call Me A Twihard...

I know movie reviews are something new here, but I saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I the other day* and just couldn't resist sharing my opinion...

Overall I'd summarize it as better than any of the other movies in the 'saga' - three thumbs up and two down, which, if you noticed, is one more thumb up than down.

Let's start with the good points.

First off, is it just me or is Kristen Stewart getting better looking with each movie? She looked really elegant at the wedding - Don't get all "oh no there's a wedding!?!" on me.You've all read the books and if you haven't and you're seeing the movies first shame on you! Perhaps I should have put a spoiler alert somewhere at the top...

I'm also starting to buy her awkward 'I don't know how to be sexy or express myself' portrayal of Bella - and it only took three previous movies.

Second, the make-out scenes are getting passionate! Although I think they could have pushed it a bit more, the average age of the crowd had to be at least 29. Throw some side boob or a a few subtle sound effects into the "love making" scenes - it's not going to make anyone run out and sleep with a vampire. 

I did enjoy Bella hungrily grabbing at Edward's coat collar while locking lips - well done! Finally we can see the fruit of their off-camera relationship.

And how can you complain when the opening scene showcases Taylor Lautner ripping open his shirt and taking off in a run (minus the whole wolf transformation bit)? You've just got your $11 worth ladies, go home, have sweet dreams, but remember he's technically a teenager.

But, alas it cannot all be good and unfortunately just as I was getting drawn into the movie a scene would bring me back to reality. 

I know that making humans look like giant wolves can't be easy but if we can make cars seamlessly transform into giant fighting robots surely we can make realistic looking werewolves. When in doubt, they could always be modeled after real life wolves, no? How about large house cats?

Speaking of Transformers, what's with the scary Optimus Prime-esque voice that the wolf pack** have when they are in wolf form? I was just waiting for Jacob to use the word allspark...

Finally, Bella's scary anorexic state for half of the movie was really disturbing. It made me want to eat for her. Perhaps this will be a wake up call and all sickly skinny girls will try and put on weight to avoid being mistaken as the mother of a demon baby.

I could go on but honestly the most upsetting part was the previews. Every one was extremely sci-fi and not at all my style. Where are the Ryan Gossling and Jake Gyllenhaal trailers? Preferably one where they fight for the attention of an average looking 20 something girl who leads a simple life of blogging and crafts...

I know that there are mixed emotions out there about the movie and Twilight in general. You've been so well behaved reading my comments the least I can do is repay the favour so please feel free to share!


*I saw it with a girlfriend, I would never subject my boyfriend to that, let alone spend another $11 on a ticket so he could be miserable for two hours. 

** The meaning of the word 'wolf pack' has been forever altered for me by The Hangover. Thanks Zach Galifianakis.

1 comment:

  1. callli! this post is pure magic. I have not seen it yet and was considering passing this one by as the last few have not been great.